"There is no fear in love for perfect love casts out all fear" - 1John 4:18
I would say that over the course of my life I have never truely experienced fear, and so this verse has never really meant a lot to me. However some of the things that have happened this summer have caused me to fear for others and fear for control (or the giving up of control) in a way I never thought possible. Yet as I feared, God comforted me. And as the days moved on and the hours started to differenciate themselves, I was left with a lingering fear "what if I will never move past this?"
I don't know if anyone of you has experienced a trauma in your life, lost a loved one, or been hurt phyically, verbally, or sexually, but one of the most common things to ask yourself after experiencing a trauma is "will this ever be over." Reliving the moments, second by second seems like a daily thing and it's exhausting. I found myself questioning God constantly asking him why I wasn't past it, why I still found myself lost in the loop of recouting every detail. One minute I would be laughing and the next weeping. The emotional rollercoaster didn't make sense to me and I sought God for comfort and found very little.
I was challenged to make a list of all the fear I had and to let God's word answer the fears with his perfect love and truth. A variety of things was on this list, however the biggest one was the fear of not moving past this moment. I felt like I would be stuck in feeling out of control, fearful, and unsettled. One of the first verses God gave me was 2 Corinthians 1:9 "But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead."
One of my questions to God has been, "why did you let this happen?" He was very clear in answering that; because I needed to rely on him. He also encouraged me by saying "We are hard pressed on every side but not crushed; perplexed but not in dispair; persecuted but not abandoned; struck down but not destoryed" - 2Corinthians 4:8
There are times in our lives when we are hard pressed, when everything seems like its going wrong and it doesn't seem like it can get much worse. But what God promises us, it that we may be hard pressed but when we rely on him we are not crushed. There are times when we ask God, "God why did you have this happen?" No matter how hard we try we can't seem to comprehend why God would allow something. But God says that when we fall to him, we will not be in dispair: giving up hopeless because we have no idea what's going on. There will be times in our life where we feel persecuted for what we believe or think. Because of that we might be left, gossiped about or slandered, but the one person who will never leave us is God. We will not be abandoned in the hard times. We will not be abandoned in the good either. There will be times when the consequences of our sin will cause us to fall away, but we will not be destroyed because we are held firmly in God's hand.
I don't know about you, but this verse puts life into perpective for me and gives me tremendous ammout of comfort. Yes there will be difficulties, but there is hope even through the hard times. When we set our hope on Christ we will not be dispointed because he wants to grow us closer to Him.
So, will I ever move past it? Will you ever be able to step out of fear and allow God's all consuming love to dispel the fears you have? It starts with a choice: the willingness to give God your fear and allow him to move into your heart. Through him you can move past the sadness, you can move past the pain, and you can move out of fear and into confidence in God's plan for humanity.
"On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us." - 2Corinthians 1:10
~Catie
