All I am is yours

God had given me a big purpose for my life! He has called me to go out into the world after college and serve him in several areas throughout the world. For the moment however, he has called me to serve here. 2 Timothy 4:2 was a huge conviction for me. 

"Preach the gospel, be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage with great patience and careful instruction."

I love how this verse specifically says to preach the gospel in and out of season. As Christians I have found that most of us serve in season, during mission trips or other church related activities. I admit that I myself have become accustom to this type of lifestyle. But this verse was so clear in saying that no, God wants you to serve him on the field and off the field. There really is not "off the field" time if you want to think about it, you should always be serving God. 

When God calls you to do something, he also provides opportunities, and God has provided in huge ways over the last month. Our church got involved with a ministry called Mission of Hope Haiti. These people have been serving Haiti for the past 12 years and will continue to stay and help the people of Haiti come back from the tragic earthquake that struck. I was given the opportunity very early on to volunteer and take donations through phone calls and take inventory of medical supplies that had been donated. But then God opened the door for something even more amazing. Several highschool students pulled together and came up with an idea to design and sell t-shirts and donate all proceeds to Mission of Hope. Through no real choice of my own, I found myself stepping up, and in charge of the whole group! Looking back I'm really not sure this happened but I know that God had a plan so I'm not really questioning it! We started off very basic, planning to raise nearly 8,000 dollars for Haiti. But that wasn't enough by Gods standards, and two weeks later the amount was raised to $19,000 and then to $24,000. I thought that this was a pretty good amount, I was amazed and praising God the whole time, but this is still not the amount God wanted me to see, so I recalculated added shirts and venues and found that we could potentially raise $37,112.

Stepping back and looking at that number, its amazing what God can do! I have learned so many things through this experience and I'm sure I'm not done learning. The biggest thing that I have learned is that prayer without faith is not faith at all. I had been praying that God would provide funds to buy the shirts, but when that didn't seem to happen, I gave up and began working with the money I already had. I in a sense had given up faith in Gods ability to do things. But just because I had given up faith didn't mean God was inactive! He reached into my life in a very clear way and provided more money then I had been praying to receive!

If you have never read the parable of the persistent woman I would strongly encourage you to. (Luke 18:1-8) The last verse is so powerful that is challenges my prayer life every day.

"However when the son of man comes, will he find faith on the earth?"

We can be persistent in prayer but if we have no faith, then really why are we praying? Jesus said so many times, "your faith has made you well." Even though I knew God had the ability to provide the money I lost faith that he actually would. When he actually did, I felt a huge slap in the face, "oh you of little faith." God is God! He can and will do anything. His ways are above my ways and his thoughts are higher then my thoughts. 

Whenever I think about how great God is compared to me, how much bigger his plans are compared to mine, and how much better his will is for my life, I'm overwhelmed with silence. I want to praise God, shout out his name and tell everyone, but when I'm alone with him I am simply speechless by his wonders. 

I love music and so several songs have come to mind that express different aspects of what I've been learning through this whole process of serving at home. But the best one I can leave you with is the chorus of an amazing song called the stand. 

So I'll stand

With arms high and heart abandoned

in awe of the one who gave it all

I'll stand my soul Lord to you surrendered 

all I am is yours

What can I say 

and what can I do

but offer this heart oh God

completely to you

~Catie